caring for someone with a passion for flying means a lot of this catches on: i can now name a more aircraft, flights, procedures and setbacks to being a flight attendant than i’ve ever planned to. i’m complaining, daily, but the upside is that it granted me an insight to the getting the best christmas gift. i think.

because of the extensive planning efforts, all the people i got the chance to relate to and all the difficulties we overcame together, i might as well consider these concorde cufflinks to be a hand crafted present.

a while ago, i’ve learned about how awesome caty thinks the concorde is: first supersonic passenger airliner, only supersonic passenger airliner, a testament to the 80′s luxury spending and the way to fly for a privileged few. backed up by some documentaries, i know now that it has been discontinued because of manufacturing and overwhelming costs. and, at some point, british airways (one of the two companies that had this aircraft in their fleed, the other one being air france) started cashing in on nostalgia. they started to sell memorabilia, novelty items were made available on board. i found this out when searching for something concorde for christmas for caty and saw everything with more clarity. music sounded better that moment: i had found the cufflinks. i also found a bookmark, but you couldn’t wear that with the uniform, could you?

decided i would bid on them, i created an ebay account and won an instant bid. the seller had 3 at the time. but he wouldn’t ship them here. we exchanged emails over the course of 2-3 days, just enough for me to get nowhere and for him to sell them all. in order to pay the man, i linked kev’s paypal account to my account. this should have bought us some time, because i thought that creating a paypal account, verifying it with the bank, feeding it money is a headache during the holiday season. that should also be true now, but having learned it the hard way, i’ll try to keep my ebay orders as simple as possible.

i tried again with another seller. from her email i gathered that she was a flight attendant with british airways. i played the sympathy card, got nowhere, because she was to spooked by the different billing addresses that she refunded us the money. also over the course of 2-3 days. in the meantime, the bank froze kev’s account, because of suspicious activity – just what i needed in order to explain to someone that we’re not up to no good, that not every order from romania is a scam and that i really really had set my mind on this christmas gift. and she wouldn’t ship the cufflinks overseas either. tough.

so i went through my list of contacts. found claudia, asked her about if she knew anyone who would help (claudia has an incredible network of people from all over the world; and not just facebook friends, people she actually interacts with). i told her the story again, and got her really excited about the idea. she put a request for someone in great britain that would act as a middle man person. and because we needed to keep it a surprise, she cut caty from her list of friends. that was odd.

but someone answered right away, cristiana, who had the opportunity to spend christmas in london and could even meet with the seller if that meant getting the cufflinks to romania. i trusted her immediately, guess i figured that nothing else would go wrong. it did: we exchanged messages as i got no news from the BA flight attendant, and finally she refused to go through with a new order, probably not needing the hassle. sorry, cristiana! for all the trouble and not thanking you enough times before.

out of nowhere, i talked to crisp (after a while) and told her the story so far. she thought it was cute, and having something in ireland some years ago, we figured she could ask around for someone new to help. we didn’t have any luck until 2010, i guess people were too busy with their own happy holidays. by that time, the shipping would take too much and not get here in time for christmas anyway.

robbie was kind enough to place the order after listening to the story as i told it for a fifth time (getting better and better). he lost the bid on some cufflinks, the last ones that were featured on ebay – auction only. but just as i was getting the bad news, someone else posted a new pair of cufflinks, describing them as an unwanted gift, robbie jumped at the chance and bought them instantly. i was pointing them out at the same time, in a different facebook message. bid won, cufflinks booked, on their way to robbie as soon as the seller got confirmation of the payment being made.

i only had to pay back robbie. as kev managed to get the money back, i arranged with iulia to make the paypal transfer. not that iulia, a different one. he also got confused. it took a while, i was getting more and more frustrated with the fact that nothing works right and that i am letting a good man down. eventually he got the money, my mind was set at ease and the cufflinks reached me through my mom. package was partially open, but the postman was really cool about everything and assured mom that nothing happened. nothing did, i gave caty the present yesterday.

pot sa-l inteleg mai usor pe-al doilea, poate din nesiguranta. il inteleg si imi place cel mai mult dintre ele doua. cateodata ma gandesc ca e suficient de unic incat, si de rar, incat primeste o valoare in plus. dincolo de asta, il prefer oricum. cand eram mic, dintr-o prostie, imi doream ca de fiecare data cand imi place de o fata sa-i placa si ei de mine. asta ar fi fost ideal sa se aplice la toate intensitatile si sa ia sfarsit cu acelasi generic.

sexul doi nu poate fi reprodus artificial, oricate reviste, conexiuni la internet sau semne de carte as avea.

pe primul sex nu mi-l doresc. iar asta intra in conflict cu celalalt – nu pot fi singurul care este altfel de egoist.

si mai e ultimul sex, pe care nu-l facem si in loc de asta dormim frumos.

lancezesc, parca, de o saptamana, facand lucruri, parca, inutile, care se pierd in zarile viitorului indepartat. sa zic nesigur (as pune reflexivitate si conditionale in toate exprimarile) ca ma anima, poate, posibilitatea ca activitatile de acum sa fie instrumentale. si ma ajute sa-mi las o amprenta. dar nu stiu… sunt doar o furnica care lasa purici pe ecrane. toti parca sunteti niste furnici, nu va suparati!

am tras de mine pana am obosit, ca si cum m-as fi tinut in fiecare zi de blog si ca sa vezi! n-am scris de fapt nimic.

am ramas in transeele unor lucruri care nu sunt suficient de bune. m-a aruncat acolo si campania. si asa cum zicea paty: abia astept sa se termine alegerile astea, ca sa nu mai urasc lume. atatia pot sa foloseasca asa un limbaj urat incat ma sperie. iar eu nu sunt pudic. am zis lucruri mult mai rele si o sa le zic in continuare.

problema e ca, simtindu-ma mic (dupa roma), enormitatile astea ma prind pe picior gresit. m-am intors de-acolo convins ca vaticanul e cel mai mare stat din lume, are prestanta. pastrand scara… ca m-am comparat cu o furnica este probabil o hiperbola. ca in roma e totul demn de vazut,  ca daca incerci sa faci o paralela simpla ti se pare ca ai tras paiul mai scurt nici nu mai zic. impresiile astea de turist, parerile despre oras si experientele culinare sunt mai bine povestite in alta parte. de catre lume mai avizata, de catre amici mai demni de incredere. la urma urmei noi nu suntem decat vecini de fereastra, iar google e un pic mai sus.

am cea mai draguta prietena din lume.

update: fotografii un pic mai incolo, din motive tehnice pe care nu le-am rezolvat nici pana acum

d-asta si visez. si s-ar putea ca in subconstient sa suplinesc alea 8-9-10 ore de somn (de criza) cu tot ceea ce-mi lipseste. cand pleci… esti tu.

dar nu sunt sigur. daca ar fi asta, paharul vietii mele ar fi perfect: jumatate ar fi plin ziua, iar noaptea s-ar scurge inexplicabil dinspre gravitatie inspre ceea ce-mi lipseste. noaptea as fi angajat, daca mi-as fi cautat toata ziua de lucru. tot noaptea am face sex, daca nu cumva facem deja ‘in real life’. la fel, noaptea as cadea din avion pentru ca oricum n-am zburat niciodata pana acum, dar m-as trezi imediat ce se umple jumatatea cu senzatii. noaptea as fi analfabet daca am scris ceva inteligent pe blog. as desena daca dupa inca o zi in care m-am uitat cu jind pe arta si design.

jumatatea plina de aseara m-a lasat sa stau pe niste dealuri pline de verdeata. asezati impreuna pe iarba ne uitam la mare; nu era soare pe cer, dar nici innorat a frig. iar din diferite musuroaie iesea sa ne salute cate o pisica, la care eu ma bucuram. toate lucrurile astea probabil ca-mi lipsesc, semn ca de saptamana viitoare o sa ma sune lumea sa-mi propuna cate-un job. conditiile meteo probabil ca raman aceleasi (in vis nu era nici senin, nici ploaie – care e opusul unei zile d-astea?). de vazut o sa ne vedem, probabil, iar pe jos n-are cum sa mai fie verde. poate o sa scartaim pe frunze.

later edit: i started coming out of my 4 year depression, but i was worried my writing would suffer. so i let it take me back

pentru ca eu nu ma intind pe diagonala in pat. pentru ca de cand ai plecat – dorm cuminte, tot asa, ca sa nu-mi lipsesti prea tare. dar uite: ma trezesc dimineata, ma intind… si ma incurc in amintiri galbui, vechi de data asta de numai o zi. nu-i dragut, as vrea sa am mai multe langa mine, niste amintiri care sa fie din prezent. sunt dispus sa fac un compromis: amintiri care au imbatranit niste momente, cu conditia sa fie putine.

desi n-am o rutina, nu mi-o doresc, mi-ar placea sa gasesc intotdeauna mai mult decat un singur fir de blond pe mine. intotdeauna. deocamdata.

eu sunt destul de atent la par. eu am o obsesie.